on ‘Doing What We Hate‘
A well traveled and learned author wrote:
“I don't understand what I am doing. For I don't practice what I want to do, but instead do what I hate.”
We ALL struggle with this battle. We DO the stuff we hate while wishing we’d STOP doing it. For me, the battle cry comes when I get ‘over-whelmed’ emotionally; which is when I FEAR (hint-hint) there’s too much to do - in too little time - with too few resources - and too many expectations.
This screen capture from my notebook is a visual illustration of stress. You can see how the CPU history shows a nice period of rest in the left third of the upper plot.
In the middle third, I’m working, doing what I do, and not paying much attention to my emotions. They are ‘within tolerance’.
The right third.. well.. you KNOW ALL ABOUT THIS
Someone barges in and ‘that’s it! &%$#%
Paul wrote many books, and has influenced men for centuries, so it seems he knew something about a problem we share as ‘beings’. He points the way to understanding and success by telling us to;
“be transformed, by the renewing of our mind”
I’ve found that AWARENESS is a big part of transformation and personal growth. Getting a grip on our emotional roller coaster is much easier than we realize – once we see what’s going on.
Points to Consider
“People rarely do what YOU want them to – but they ALWAYS do what THEY want to – and for THEIR own reasons”
| “People don’t believe what YOU tell them. They believe what THEY tell themselves.”
|
“Daniel, what’s the positive side of your point? I don’t like criticism, no matter HOW LOUD you say it.”
| “Learn to listen and obey your bodies subtle signals. Don’t ignore your normal cycles. I’m tired. I’m hungry. Hello?”
|
My Observation and Theory
Have a close look at this chart. I have it hanging on the fridge for Angelina to understand me easier. It represents the level of my energy, focus and emotional ‘tank’ for my typical day.
(+) is for good, (-) is for not so good.
After I get up (8:30am) it’s all downhill. If I don’t get away from the keyboard, and out cycling or windsurfing or snowboarding by 3pm, then I get cranky. I become irritable and I easily do what I “DON’T” want to do, just like Paul, and the right third of my CPU history.
I’ve got a ‘rebound’ period – after a break and dinner, which peaks about 8pm, from where it’s all downhill again. AND, if Angelina and I want to fight… let’s talk finances before bed!
I can shorten the period ‘below the baseline’ in a few ways:
Exercise
A 30 minute nap
A nice rich mocha
What I also notice is that the third choice, the coffee, tends to mess me up with other side effects. My body feels rejuvenated, but my emotions aren’t. I get a bit edgier, even though I have more energy. Whereas the exercise (at least 3 times a week) gives me a nice chemical fix without the buzz. You’ll learn a lot about brain chemistry and plasticity in the Enterprising Cycle, but for now, understand these are all related; sleep, nutrition, exercise, learning, rest, etc.
For a bit more study, search for ‘circadian’ rhythms, or this article on Wikipedia:
Basically you’ll see how sunlight and the creation of brain chemistry affect mood, capacity, focus, and several physiological processes.
Click to enlarge the image
What’s in it For You
I understand that tracking daily rhythms and getting out of ruts takes interest, awareness and effort. Consider the reward:
Trading ambition for meaning
Personal growth
More patience and freedom
Becoming interruptible without irritability
More health and wellness WITHIN the day
Less stress related illness
MORE intimacy (hint,hint)
Eat more of the stuff you like without gaining weight!
The Bottom Line
The Enterprising Cycle helps me organize and understand the multitude of tools and influences we have to improve our experience in life and business. I highly recommend self-employment – so long as you are aware and handling most of the heartache and challenges it brings. Blending empirical evidence of brain science with faith, and the input from others with self-awareness, I hope you will stop ‘pressing’ through your daily emotional trough, and learn to read the rhythms of your ‘BOSS’, your wife, your children and peers. The daily ‘grind’ on my bicycle to the local coffee shop has become something of a relational ritual for Angelina and I. We benefit in more than one way for the awareness and effort, and so can you!
As a final pearl of wisdom, consider how you can follow our example, and go on to explain to others how you are managing your ‘MANstruel’ cycle
”What leaders do: they give people stories they can tell themselves. Stories about the future and about change.”
Seth Godin
http://www.squidoo.com/triiibesbooks
Mark up a chart for yourself. Share it with your family. Follow your daily rhythm, and get on your MANstrual cycle!
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